Ever wonder where your love of mysteries comes from? I have. Maybe it is
because my whole life I was a part of one. As many of you may know, I
recently celebrated my 40th birthday, so when my family asked me what I
wanted for a gift for this monumental birthday, I knew right away. I
wanted to know the answer to my family mystery, exactly where I came
from.
Growing up I always knew I was part of a family mystery that struck through the core of my family and my mothers heart. She was adopted. Not as an infant but as a child of about age 5. I live in Canada and my mother and I were born in the French Speaking Province of Quebec.
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| My mother and I at my baptism in 1975 |
In Quebec, until very recently, you were not given a birth certificate
like many other provinces and countries require, instead you were given
a 'Certificate of Baptism' when your family had you baptized. My mother
was born in August (we think) of 1954. She was placed in foster care at
the age of 1 and adopted by the age of 5. All records of her adoption
from the Red Feather Society were lost due to a Fire in the 1970's.
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| A photo of my mother just after she was adopted in 1959 |
Growing up my mother was open about how she felt being adopted, about
how she never felt truly whole, that she would search the faces in the
street hoping to see it reflected in a mysterious stranger. But that
never did happen. When my school teacher sent us home with a family tree
or history assignment my mother was always visibly upset and sad. I was
too. I too felt like I was not whole. In my teen's when the internet
started being a place to go for answers I spent hours on advocacy
websites trying to get the answers for my mother. Answers that never
came.
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| My mother's grandchildren |
When I had children of my own I was pleased to learn my mother finally
saw those faces she longed for, in the faces of her grandchildren.
Finally seeing a family resemblance within her own family, she could not
see it in us her own children but was unable to deny them in the faces
of her grandchildren.
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| Our last Christmas 2009 |
My mother was ill most of her adult life, putting everyone else's
needs first, she was a foster mother to more than 40 children in my
lifetime; right up until the last year of her life which was 5 years ago
in September. When she died, I thought the mystery and all its clues
went along with her.
What I did not know then was that I still held the most important clue
and that the answers about who I was and where my mother (and ultimately
myself) came from were still very much alive, inside of me!
While DNA testing has been around for many years. There are several companies
in the USA who do tests like the one I did through 23andMe.com but I
live in Canada and many of them would not take on Canadian clients. I
was thrilled to learn 23andMe.com would give me the information and
tests I wanted. 23andMe gave me more than just where my ancestors came
from, it also provided me with key evidence of my medical history and
hereditary traits that my mother always felt guilty she never new.
Information that is truly fascinating to me.
My mother read books in a way that I now admire and in turn our home is
wall to wall books. I know my love of reading comes from her even though
it was not until my 20's when I was able to overcome my own dyslexia
and find comfort in books. She read everything she could get her hands
on, especially if it had anything to do with Ireland. She loved
everything Irish and she never knew why. She secretly wished that she
was Irish.
My husband ordered the kit for me in March and I sent it in the first
week of April. My results started coming in April 30th. By May 3 I had
the most amazing news from 23andme.com. I was 52% British/Irish. My mothers dream of us being Irish was TRUE! I cried, I was over joyed and I am still amazed. My mother's feeling of being drawn to Ireland her whole life and not
ever knowing why, her gut feeling, her wish; it came true because all
along it was in her and it is in me too.
Today on this Mothers Day as I sit down for that first cup of tea, I
finally know my mother's history. I know where I come from and exactly
who I am. Even though my mother who died always wanting to know where
she came from and never knowing, I take huge comfort in being able to
share this with my family and with all of you. I am so thrilled today to
finally feel whole and no longer like I'm missing a piece of my own
puzzle. I am moved to tears and my "Irish Eyes" are truly smiling today.
Thank you for joining me for my true mystery, my story and of course a cup of tea. To find out more about DNA testing through
23andme please click here.
As with all my posts I would love to hear from you so please leave me a comment here or email me at karenmowen@gmail.com
