Saturday, May 9, 2020
Mothers Day Weekend Reflection
It is Mothers Day weekend again and I find that each year it doesn't get easier. As soon as the adds started to pop up on Facebook, and then in my email and worst of in my text messages reminding me that I should be planning something elaborate for my mother, sending feelings of guilt, anger and grief through me in ways I was and do hope always to avoid. As a Motherless Adult Child, orphaned younger than I would have liked to be, I pretty much dread this time of year.
My mother died in 2010. I was not ready, not like one can really prepare. I was 35, a mother of three myself just got the diagnosis that my youngest son also had Autism, a few weeks before my mom died. Lost yep, I was, but I put on my big girl panties and carried on as moms do, because I never felt like I had a choice.
Now with my dad gone just over a year ago now, and perhaps the staying safe at home all these past weeks due to the Covid 19 pandemic, I feel like I am feeling a little more this year. I did not want to let myself show that I was feeling it, for many years, still its raw.
I know that I am not at all bad off I do have three lovely children who I know love me. I have never really liked "Hallmark type Holidays" as it is, but I will be honest and say that when I got the text message from my phone provider telling me I should consider one of their services for my mother I wanted to throw my phone. As a mother myself the only thing I would really like is to know on Mothers Day is that my kids are safe and that they know I love them, and that this motherhood thing is hard but I try everyday to be the best that I can be for them and for myself and hope that in that I made my own mother very proud. After years of wearing my big girl panties and carrying on, I think it is time to take them off, at least for the weekend.
"For those who have said their last goodbyes,
For those who cannot be together today,
For those who have had to give one back,
For those who long to be,
For those who are blessedly stressed,
I see and honor thee today" -Karen M. Gibson
Thank you for joining me for a cup of tea and a Mothers Day Reflection. I would love to hear from you so please leave me a comment here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org